I suffer through many moments of discontent, disconnect, and disinterest in my craft. A deep depression that sinks in when I know I'm not being my true self. I deep disconnect when I'm searching for my reality, a larger than life disinterest in my surroundings when I can not write what I want to, because I'm not seeing what I should. Those moments can last month after month. Those moments have lasted too many months. Damn it.
There's no easy switch. There's no easy "wake up Geoff!" and get it done. They have to resolve themselves and find their place in my understanding of existence.
The way I know I've conquered that ever present writing anguish for a time being, is when I hear each note as its own song, each sentence of lyric as a phrase that must be heard. I'm a bipolar musician, and so I'm a creative versus not, at every turn. This turn is mine now. I'm back at it and ready for fulfillment. Like it or not or don't care. Like it and we'll do well together. Hold me off, try to turn me into what I'm not, and we'll conflict. Either way I'm gonna write about it now. And thank you for all of it.
That's Who I Am.
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