This moment

A moment dear friends;

Ten minutes from now may be an impossibility while ten minutes ago is now history. So I ask you, are you making the most of right now? Are you letting pass a moment of true love, a moment of real energy, a moment to do for another or to make an amend before the moment is gone forever again? Don't waste it. This moment is all you can ever be sure of in life, and the only thing that is truly real. Right now is your now, so do right before regrets become forever your night.

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From time to time I use this canvas as my personal tablet of self and life, as I do frequently within a black book which I carry with me whenever possible. The things I write about are sometimes of a deep nature to me, or at others quirks and humor I pickup along the way. Life is interesting when we take a moment to look at it.

This evening is mind and heart chatter from within. It is these internal conversations that I carry on within me on a regular basis from which most of the songs or writings I create spring forth. The issues and reasons can vary greatly, from things I find most serious or disturbing to something most mundane or that has me a giggle. I try to allow these inner converging of voices to run as coherent a course as possible before I ultimately spend some meditation time to determine either the reason or answer to the chatter, then quiet them fully and come back to one single and strong voice, my true inner voice that is truly me. I discovered my real voice after a period in my life where my universe collapsed in every aspect imaginable to me, and at which time I then took to the task of asking myself, and equally importantly answering in brutal honesty of myself, countless questions ranging from my beliefs, to who I am and what my soul is, and all the good and dark that falls in-between, untill ultimately at one point there were no more questions. At the same time I also allowed my every limit to be pushed to and reached by those around me, and after all this was said and done I stood back and took stock of my life, my dreams and goals, values and determinations, what and why and what next, and discovered without a doubt who I really am. Was quite the time but some of the most important moments in my life in order for me to be where I am now and the person I am now. When it comes to the true voice, it seems most people I have met have yet to discover theirs, and not through fault of their own. Society, ill-intent "friends" or social circles, and a lack of belief in one's self have the uncanny ability of drowning out that true voice and having us believe it sounds like something or someone else. But we all have that one voice that shines brightest, and when you hear it you certainly know it because... well... because it's the only one that REALLY and TRULY SOUNDS LIKE YOU! It can shock you when you first hear it because nothing has ever sounded more true, more real or more honest to your own soul and mind than that voice. And to be frank, it's amazing. Hear it and you'll come to realize what the other voices are and will recognize their negative chatter and self criticisms in attempt to speak louder than your voice again. Lean how to listen to it and you will find a confidence and understanding of yourself, with the wondrous knowledge that you now also have so much more to learn but in a different manner, and you will change your life forever. Find it and you can silence the rest at will.

OK, so on to some other chatter.

I've spent a short period of time away from all things writing, in my normal sense of writing; that is songs, lyrics, stories or otherwise. From a very brief trip back to what I consider or once considered my home city, though I must admit that it is becoming more foreign to me now as I see that door closing behind me and another opening in front of, then on to a few days away from technology and its seemingly endless stranglehold on my life. Simplicity thanks to a cottage, a lake and nature. Needed time I think, to ponder moments past, look into any lingering regrets of yesterday actions or lack thereof, and to learn from them so as to be ready for what may come. I have spent much time considering the now, this very moment, and where I fit within it as this second becomes life then quickly the history of it. I have discovered through many lessons I've learned that people truly come for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Often it seems it's for their own reasons that end up as cratered impact to your life, lasts but a season and once they are done it's good-bye without trace or consideration to your lifetime. That's okay. It's all in the learning. Some are good lessons in "beware" and "are those that love you real?" It is through those moments that I've just mentioned that you learn the most of yourself, what you are made of, and what are not willing to be in the future no matter the costs. Growing and becoming were never promised easy, that's for sure. "Birth is always pain" I wrote into the song Release Her is meant as the many rebirths we undergo in our lives if we are to continue to become something greater than our former selves. Rebirth is painful but necessary in order to climb above and beyond the chains holding our own lives back; be it from friendships that have become abusive in one manner or another, love that has been one-sided and crushing, family that may be unhealthy enablers, bad habits made excuses, laziness of stagnation, or perhaps all of these combined, or none of them at all. It is to each their own that as individuals we are given the task to discover our spirit life and what it is that we must overcome, and learn from. My real wish in life is that at its end the person I'm with is able in honesty to tell me that I have been a good man, and have loved truly. Should I be fortunate enough to have children of my own I hope the last words I hear from them are that I was a good and loving father and that they never went without. But I certainly will not let hapless fate be the decider in those matters. A better life takes hard work, not excuses. I pour my life into my songs and writings not because I have to, but because I want to and because I love to. It's what separates upward momentum from stagnation. Honesty in what you love, love in what you do. Right now I love this moment.